After six articles focused on hiring, it's time to branch out and address other topics relevant to leading small and medium sized teams. Today, I want to focus on the 1-on-1. What makes a good one and what is a little off the mark. I assume most people reading this know what this type of meeting is at least at a high level, but just in case, it might help to ensure we're all on the same page. As the name suggests, a 1-on-1 (or one-on-one if you prefer) is a meeting between you and an individual team member, usually scheduled on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. That's it. Of course, if it was really that simple, this wouldn't be much of an article, but as it turns out, I've got quite a bit to say about these meetings.
First, let's talk about what a 1-on-1 is not. It is not a chance for you to address a serious issue with the person's behavior or performance. If you've got issues like that, save them for a dedicated meeting. It is also not a status report on everything the person accomplished that week. Again, that's best done in a separate meeting, and honestly should be done with the whole or subset of the team for efficiency and dissemination of information. It's also not an opportunity for you to launch into a list of everything you want the person to accomplish right out of the gate. I'm not saying you can't have your own topics you'd like to discuss, but you shouldn't hit the person with your list right away. I'll dive into this point deeper a little later.
So, what is a 1-on-1 for then? Its primary purpose is to connect with your team members on an individual basis, to foster a relationship of trust and open communication. It's a chance for the individual to talk about whatever they want to talk about. If they want to talk about trivial things, fine. If they want to talk about their career, fine. If they want to talk about specific bottlenecks in their work that you can help with, fine. The point is, they should be leading the dance, not you. This is their time to talk to leadership, let them talk about what they want.
Here's the approach I tend to take. I open the meeting with a version of one of two questions: "How are things going?" or "This is your 1-on-1. What would you like to talk about?" I've honestly been moving away from the first one a bit because it tends to corral them into a project-based discussion instead of being more open ended. However, some people are not as comfortable when put on the spot to come up with something to talk about, so for those people I do lead with the first. From there I just let them bring up whatever topics they like in whatever order they prefer. I find that what they want to talk about often coincides with the topics I wanted to bring up anyway, and I use that natural opportunity to slip in my own thoughts, observations, and requests. However, I am very careful not to dominate the discussion.
During this whole time, I'm taking notes and adding action items to my list as they come up. I will talk more about how I track action items in a future article. For now, it's just important to note that you should be writing down the most important things that come out of your 1-on-1s. That said, there is a lot that happens in these meetings that you'll just internalize and will build your relationships naturally.
Perhaps it's just me, but in a thirty-minute discussion, I almost always find the person wraps up their list of topics with five minutes to spare. That's when I jump in with the most important items from my list. If something gets missed, no problem. I can either save it for the next 1-on-1 or, if it's time sensitive, immediately set up a follow-up meeting for that topic. I wrap up by repeating the action items either they or I have agreed to do.
One final note, and this is important. Try not to cancel these meetings. There is a tendency to sacrifice these discussions in order to address what feel like more pressing business matters. If it happens rarely, it's not a problem, but if you make it a habit, your team member will start to feel like you only make time for your issues and never hear them out about their concerns.
That's it. There is a no need to plan these meetings in great detail. If you follow the basic outline above, you can pretty much wing the whole thing... and that's the point. It should feel like a natural conversation, not a scripted meeting. You're building rapport, not setting agenda. As long as you remember that this time is about them and less about you, you'll find the bonds between you and your team members growing stronger with each passing session.